With the new energies in place I've been very productive but also getting less sleep. The past 2 days were literally spent rescheduling my diary, keeping track of my habits, deleting files that are no longer useful and detox my digital space. I'm not done yet, but whoa! It feels so good that I started. And isn't that all the point of detoxing, decluttering to be free, to make space for something more wonderful? It is this energy that helps me overcome my fear of not being enough. In the past I was always trying to overcompensate for not being who people want me to be. I was trying so hard to fit in their mould that I completely forgot that I was born with my own mould. You see, I believe that when we are born we enter this lifetime with a purpose (albeit with no instructions)
So how do we actually find our purpose? Is there only one purpose per lifetime? What if we do not live our purpose, will we be punished in the after life (if there is one?)
Detoxing and decluttering help me make space so I can see the light of my purpose shine through. It energises me to continue working on my mission to help people reimprint positive beliefs where the hurt was and to become a better version of themselves.
When I bring up memories of 'people' telling me I'm not good enough (see previous posts!) I put up a wall and disconnect from the people who love me the most. I stop being my best possible version of myself and try hard to smile when inside I'm crumbling. I'm not different to you, I do have a lot of down days but I'm figuring life out, again, for the umpteenth time because there is absolutely no shame in getting up and straightening up again. Everyone is quoting Lady Gaga's acceptance speech lately ("And if you are at home, and you're sitting on your couch and you're watching this right now, all I have to say is that this is hard work. I've worked hard for a long time, and it's not about, you know...it's not about winning. But what it's about is not giving up. If you have a dream, fight for it. There's a discipline for passion. And it's not about how many times you get rejected or you fall down or you're beaten up. It's about how many times you stand up and are brave and you keep on going. Thank you!") and there you go, I did so too. I love how raw she was about hard work, about not giving up, about discipline being her driving force. Your wound is probably not your fault, but your healing is totally your responsibility.
When I took Psychology studies (last century) at Uni, I did so in pursuit to better myself and find an answer to why I was subjected to the emotional abuse growing up. I didn't, because I was looking for an answer outside of myself and the walls I built were so incredibly high that I developed vertigo in the meantime. I took it upon myself to pick those beliefs apart and heal them through energy healing, through NLP's various techniques, through forgiveness, through meditation, through being mindful and grateful of all the positive things that keep happening in my life.
It's what I do and it's my promise to my clients that I will be their cheerleader in getting them out of the rut. My studies alone could never prepare me for this vocation, my experience is what made me whole and compassionate.